How to act cool


If you want to act cool with me
(says Ruby)
just say OK.

The easiest way to learn
is walking waving your hips.
Watch me. One, two, three.

Everything has to be
waving your hips.
That’s part of being cool.

Not spitting on your hand
like they do in Peter Pan:
that’s gross.

You can’t do acting cool
at gymnastics: you might go wow!
and fall off the bar.

Don’t wave your hips
on the trampoline:
just jump the normal way.

Don’t act cool
at dog obedience school
‘cos you might fall over, especially

if you’re walking backwards.
And if you see stray dogs
leave them alone.

I haven’t learned all the coolness
from dog people.
I learned it from Marone.

I’ll spell that for you.
It’s Ethiopian,
so people can’t spell it.

And don’t walk coolly up the stairs.
Just walk normally.


Rachel McAlpine
From a story told by Ruby, aged 4 or 5 or 6

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